i need to know what this means can some one plz help me but plz b filipino or speak filipino plz

Can someone translate this text. I know it's not perfect Tagalog so it might be harder to translate
but can you tell me what this means:
fooootha kah!!!
an lande mu!!!
hahahhaha joshua nah man xe eh!!
nuh qya un!!
hahahhaahah

thanks (:

'Oi salamat mo ko, mei biz aq, join ka, seryoso.
I know it's a lot of broken slang but the general idea of what this means would be awesome thanks!!

I am trying to learn tagalog and a couple of other languages, but I do not understand some of the shorthand in chat. Please tell me what this means: pwde ko ba malaman ano cp num m. para mg mit dn tau